


Can't Say Goodbye to Yesterday

by theflyingpeanut



Series: Overwatch Rides Again [10]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, Dreams, F/F, Trans Female Character, Trans Gérard Lacroix, Trans Male Character, Trans Sombra, Trans Widowmaker, kind of, mentions of torture, with a somewhat happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:11:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyingpeanut/pseuds/theflyingpeanut
Summary: What's the point of fighting for your future when the only happiness you'll know is already behind you?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reaper is trans too, but I feel like he's not in it enough for that to be tagged. Mostly because I don't want someone to be looking for a story with a lot of trans Reaper to end up finding this and being kinda disappointed.

Widowmaker meandered through her home, robe hanging loose round her, carefully taking in her surroundings. Not that they ever changed, of course, but going over them had become a useful way to prepare her for what came next. A blanket was hanging off the side of the sofa, the remote for their television laying between books scattered across the table. She felt that the two of them had spent a lot of time there, though it was impossible to be certain. There were fragments, flashes of of a woman cuddled up against him, but she didn't know if they were real, or just something she'd created to fill in the gaps. Perhaps they were just things that had been created for her, a past to give her some connection to the world.

Dirty plates lay on the kitchen table, pots soaking in the sink. She could smell tomatoes and garlic, though she wasn't sure exactly what they'd eaten. Something simple, she thought. Gérard didn't seem the type to make too much of a fuss over a weekday meal, from what little she remembered of him. Little more than extrapolation, but she didn't mind. It had been her life. She had as much right to create it as anyone else.

She looked to the window, still unable to see anything beyond a thick fog. She wasn't sure where her home had been, what the streets outside had looked like. It had never come back to her, and she wasn't sure that she'd recognise it if she came back. Someone else probably had it by now, anyway. There'd be nothing left for her to return to, even if she was able to. She'd made sure of that.

Widowmaker walked to the stairs, breathing slowly as she climbed them, finishing her preparations. It had taken her a while to remember what was coming next, but once she had, these visits had become something she looked forward too. The misery was still there, but it was dull and distant, the same vague throb that she always carried with her. It was worth putting up with it to see Gérard again. He was almost the only person she could be honest with any more.

“You took your time today, darling.”

“This is my dream. I'll take as long as I want.”

He was sitting what he had always sat, propped up against the wall behind their bed, hands resting in a pool of his own blood. At first, it had grown and grown till it was pouring onto the floor, threatening to fill the room. Now, though, it simply soaked into the sheets, no bigger than it had been when she'd cut his throat. She sat in a chair across from him, studying him in silence, looking to see if there had been any changes. Sometimes he seemed younger, softer, a man from a different time. This time, though, she was visiting with the last version of Gérard she thought had existed in the world, scars still noticeable on his chest. She remembered him getting top surgery. The happiness he'd felt that day was the only solid memory she still had of him, one that never failed to make her ache.

“So, what have you been up to?” She looked up to his face, his soft smile still looking like a smaller version of the gash she'd opened in his neck. She'd been horrified by the sight of it at first, revolted, but by now, it was just part of who he was. She watched blood trickle down from it, red rivers winding over his chest, his stomach, his legs. It was the only thing he ever wore.

“I killed a woman. A politician. German. Not entirely sure why.”

“Because you were told to, I assume. You're rarely ever given another reason.” Gérard was blunt here, though she always had a nagging suspicion that this wasn't how he had been when he was alive. “So, was it clean? Any problems crop up?”

“One shot. She was walking to her car. Just had dinner with her family. By the time the security forces were on the scene, I was gone.” She'd been far enough away that she hadn't heard the aftermath, but she'd seen the look on her husband's face. A moment of shock and confusion before she'd abandoned her rifle and grappled across the rooftops. “They gave me a different weapon. One I had to leave behind. I think they might be trying to get another group to take the fall for this.”

“Don't know which one?” She shook her head, and he sighed, blood bubbling from his larynx as he slipped down the bed. The visit was coming to an end. He'd be dead again soon. “Doesn't really matter. It wouldn't change anything.” His body was flat on the bed now, breaths becoming shallow. “I love you, Amélie.” One more rasping breath, and he was still, waiting for her next visit.

“I love you too, Gérard.”

~

She didn't know when she'd started having the dreams, and she couldn't describe them afterwards. They were vague and hard to recognise. The only thing she knew for certain was that Gérard was in every one. Sombra told her that they'd tried to recondition her at first, that they didn't want her to dream. Apparently, they'd been convinced of their own success. She wasn't sure when that had happened, but she was glad. It was the only connection she still had to her husband.

She pushed herself out of bed, picking up the clothing left folded next to her bed. They were the only two pieces of furniture in her room. No pictures, nothing personal. It was considered best to minimise her chance of forming close attachments. They were worried that the reprogramming would start reducing her capabilities in the field if it had to be done too frequently. Not that any of the doctor's had told her that, of course. She'd heard it from another source, one that had come to her of her own free will.

Once she'd cleaned herself up, she headed down to the common area, dressed in clothing she had chosen the night before. It was one of the few areas she was allowed any real control, provided she didn't choose anything ostentatious. So, loose jeans and a shirt for her downtime, something comfortable to recover in. Even if the mission had been a flawless success for her, they still required her to take a day of R&R. They wanted to observe her, make sure there were no mental changes that would need to be fixed. Once again, information that was not given to her.

She walked past a few guards on the way to the common area, men with faces and names she'd never known, and found Reaper playing chess with Sombra. It had become a regular occurrence between the two, and it was evident that Reaper was losing once again. His form was becoming hazier, tendrils of black smoke rising from him, showing his frustration as clear as day. That he had such an obvious tell had apparently been one of the reasons Sombra refused to play poker with him anymore. Said it felt like cheating. So, the two of them had moved on to another game that he had never won at.

“Check.” Widowmaker watched Sombra move her knight along the board, forcing Reaper to sacrifice a rook to save his queen. The most he could try to do at this point was play for a draw, bus she knew he wouldn't. She watched him tip his king, fingers resting on it for a moment before stretching his hand to his opponent. Sombra smirked, giving it a quick shake before standing from the table, stretching her arms over her head.

“You're getting better at this, old man. I almost had to make an effort.” Reaper grunted, hands resting on either side of the board as he slowly stood, dark wisps still trailing from him.

“Pride goes before a fall, Sombra. You can't keep winning forever.” She laughed, turning to Widowmaker with a wink.

“Maybe not, but I'm pretty sure I can keep beating you.” Reaper shook his head, walking over to Widowmaker, looking down at her.

“Heard the mission went off without a hitch. Well done.” She nodded, looking up at his masked face, noticing his body start to lose a bit of solidity. He was always quiet around her, something she didn't mind, but the fact that he seemed to lose a bit of control whenever he tried to speak was still confusing to her. Did he know what had been done to her? Had something similar happened to him? She watched as he headed out, a disappearing trail of smoke following him, and heard a cough behind her.

“So, how is my favourite spider?” Sombra was grinning up at her, and Widowmaker couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from twitching slightly.

“She's doing well.” She watched her stretch her arms over her head again, yawning and running a hand through her hair, twirling strands round a finger.

“Good to know, good to know. So, do you want to take a walk with me? Kill a bit of time on your day off?” Widowmaker studied the grin on her face, wondering if she'd managed to get hold of any of the things she'd requested. Sombra had proven surprisingly eager to befriend her, willing to pass on any number of things to her if she wanted them.

“OK.” Sombra smiled up at her, slipping an arm through hers and leading her across the room. Widowmaker felt a pleasant warmth radiating off of her, a smile threatening to form on her face again. She felt better when she was in Sombra's company. It reminded her of something she couldn't place, something broken that she was starting to piece together again. She had to keep it hidden. She had a role to play, and she knew well enough the consequences of failing.

“So, the old man's improving, huh? Think he might even be able to get the better of me soon.” Sombra leaned into her side, gesturing wildly with her free hand while they continued to their meeting place. There were cameras everywhere, recording every move they made, every word they said. Sombra had changed that. Widowmaker wasn't entirely sure how she'd gotten around it, but she believed her. The things she said would have resulted in her removal long ago if anyone else had known about them.

Sombra kept up the small talk as they walked through the base, seemingly more than happy to make up for the silence that Widowmaker left. There was nothing important to what she said, nothing vital. Talking about missions, about the people they served with, letting her hand drift along her back. Finally, they reached a stairwell that Sombra liked, and after a moment, she felt a pattern tapped into her back, one that told her it was safe to talk.

“So, what did you want to tell me?” Widowmaker turned her gaze down to her, watching Sombra pout as she sat on the ground.

“Is that all I am to you? I thought that you might happy just to have a little private time.” She leaned back against the wall, finally allowing herself a small grin.

“I would be, if only you could find something interesting to say.” She let her gaze drift round the room, glancing over the cameras surrounding them. “Are you sure we're safe here?”

“They see what I want them to see. Hear what I want them to hear. As far as they're concerned, I'm still just flirting with you.” Widowmaker looked down at her, raising an eyebrow at the smirk spreading across Sombra's face. “What? It's the most believable explanation they'll have for why I spend so much time with you. Can't be the first person here to try and get into your pants, can I?” She sighed, closing her eyes and listening to the laugh coming from her feet.

“I'm happy to stay here if this is just a personal thing. Still, I'd like to know if you managed to find anything new for me.” Sombra's laughter died down, and she heard a rustling, opening her eyes to see a photograph in her friend's hand.

“You'd talked about Gérard. Said you couldn't really remember his face. So, I found this.” She took hold of it, studying the picture more closely. A man and a woman, both young, curled up on a hillside. “It's old, but it should give you an idea. I can find more fro you if you'd like.” Widowmaker couldn't remember what the occasion had been, why they'd taken the picture, if there had even been anything between them. Still, she knew that the man in the picture had been her husband. Tall and bronze, with the same gentle smile she'd seen in her dreams for as long as she could remember. Her dreams were vague, impossible to properly recall, but for whatever reason, his smile had stuck with her.

“How did...” Sombra was silent as she continued to look over the picture, eyes finally moving to the woman standing with Gérard. She stood a couple of inches shorter than him, a warm smile on her face as she held his hand tight. It was the first time she'd seen who she had once been, and it was discomfiting. She felt a pain start to grow in her head as she studied the differences between them, the ways in which she had been changed to make the person she was. The skin was the most obvious one. She moved her thumb to the side of her face, comparing her purple skin with the deep brown of the woman in the picture. She couldn't be sure why they'd made her like this. There'd been talk about it being a result of her slowed heart rate, but Sombra hadn't found anything factual to back that up. It seemed there was little reason for it beyond aesthetic.

“You OK?” Sombra's hand gripped hers, and she looked away from the picture, feeling a slight warmth rising up her arm.

“Yes. Thank you.” Widowmaker's gaze fell back to the photograph in her hand, before she closed her eyes, pushing it towards Sombra. “Can you keep this somewhere safe?”

“Of course. You just tell me when you wanna see it again.” She opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling, feeling Sombra move closer to her, a stray arm brushing against her leg. “How did it feel? Seeing that?”

“Odd.” There was still a slight throbbing in her head, the pain she'd felt slowly fading. “I'm not the woman in that picture. Not any more.” Sombra squeezed her hand again, smiling up at her.

“How can you know? A picture can only tell you so much.”

“I just know. That's not me.” The woman in the photo was young and happy and hopeful. Everything Widowmaker wasn't. A frown crossed Sombra's face, and she stood up, stretching and yawning.

“Well, you've been through a lot. Hardly surprising that you came out the other side as someone new.” She'd been the only person so far who'd given Widowmaker any details about what had been done to her. Sombra had offered it freely, requesting nothing in return, which had raised her suspicions, leaving her wondering if she should treat Sombra's offer as some kind of test. A way for Talon to see if she was loyal. Over time, she'd divulged more information, about the missions they were going on, what had been happening with the other people they worked with. Widowmaker soon learned that Sombra wasn't trying to test her. She was just trying to help. “You want me to keep looking for the pictures for you? Maybe find out a bit more about what Amélie was like? Seems unfair to compare yourself to her when you only know what she looked like.”

“That would be good. Thank you.” Widowmaker saw a hint of redness rise to Sombra's cheeks before she turned to her wrist, tapping on the screen projected for it. “If you find where Gérard is buried, could you let me know? I'd like to visit him if I have the chance.”

“You got it. Anything for you.” Widowmaker shook her head as Sombra grinned, still holding on to her hand. “I like you as you are. Being a new person isn't the end of the world.”

“Amélie chose her own life. Chose how she wanted to live it. It wasn't this.” The two of them were silent for a few minutes, neither of them looking at each other. Finally, Sombra walked forward, hands clasped behind her head, tapping her foot on the ground.

“We should go. They'll think it's odd if you willingly spend so much time with someone as irritating as me.” Widowmaker grabbed her arm as she started walking to the stairs, looking down at her.

“You're not an irritation.” Sombra smiled up at her, and she felt a slight warmth in her chest, something that she hadn't felt in years.

“I know. I'm actually pretty amazing. Still, the bosses think you tolerate me at best, and I'm happy for it to stay that way. Better that they underestimate what I'm capable of. Makes my life a lot easier.” Widowmaker shook her head, letting go of her and watching her move to the base of the stairs. “I've got to take care of something, so I'll meet you for dinner, yeah? Maybe you can watch me kick the old man's ass again if he's up for it.”

“Yes. Of course.” She kept her eyes on Sombra, watching her till she disappeared from view, still leaning against the cool wall. Widowmaker knew she was planning something, and she knew that she was involved. She just couldn't figure out what it was. Not yet.


	2. Chapter 2

“She's isn't on your side.” Gérard sat on the bed across from her, blood clinging to the stubble round his mouth. “She's using Talon to pursue her goals as much as they're using her. She'll use you too if you give her the chance, and when you can't give her anything more...” He trailed off, face turning to the bed. Widowmaker studied it, studied the details that hadn't been present before. The small scars covering his cheek. The brown eyes. The kink in his nose, broken at some unknown point. Before, he'd been vague, his smile the only thing that gave him away. Now, there was an actual face. It might not have been what he looked like at the end, but it was more than she'd had before.

“She's helping me. If she wants something in return, then that's only fair.”

“Just be careful. She's aiming to do something bigger than either of you. She'll throw you away in a heartbeat if she has to.” Widowmaker looked up, frowning at him. They didn't really have much to talk about today, and he seemed insistent on badmouthing the only other person in her life who actually did anything decent for her.

“So rude about her today. It's almost like you're jealous.” He rolled his eyes, sighing, still smiling at her.

“I'm just worried about you. You're in a bad situation. Sombra could be better than that, but that doesn't mean she's good.” Widowmaker looked down at the ground, hands fiddling in her lap.

“I understand that. I do. But I'm more than capable of looking after myself.” She understood that if it came to a choice between the two of them, Sombra would look after herself first. She felt the same way. That didn't mean they couldn't help each other before they reached that point.

“I still get to worry about you, no matter how strong you are.” Widowmaker couldn't stop the small smile growing on her face, and heard Gérard chuckling from the bed, coughing up a mouthful of blood. “So, what's the next mission going to be?”

“We're going to Paris. Sombra's going to be stealing some data from a Helix building, and Reaper and I will be on lookout. If it all goes well, won't have to do anything.”

“And if it doesn't?” Widowmaker smiled, chuckling quietly as she looked at the ground.

“Then I get to do what I'm at good at.” Even if she didn't want to work for Talon, she couldn't deny that she enjoyed it. Killing people felt good in a way that nothing else ever had. The doubts that came afterwards were a price she was willing to pay if it meant she could get that thrill. “I'll tell you how it went the next time we meet.” He nodded, pitching onto his side as his breathing became shallow, and the flow of blood from his neck slowed.

“I love you, Amélie.”

“And I you, Gérard.”

~

“Anyone coming up on me, Widow?” Her breathing was steady as she looked down her sight, scanning over the floor Sombra was on.

“Two guards in the room to your right. Look to be sleeping. They shouldn't cause you any problems.” Widowmaker watched as Sombra moved forward, head peaking through the door before dashing past it, leaving the men to their slumber. So far, the infiltration had been simple. She and Reaper had set themselves up on the roof across from the Helix building, while Sombra had dropped on top of it, slowly making her way down to the server room. There hadn't been opposition yet, which was worrying. The three of them wouldn't have been sent here if the data wasn't important. It should have been better protected than this.

“This is too easy.” She heard Reaper's growl from next to her, but kept her eye to the scope, scouting out the path ahead of Sombra. “You can feel it, right?” Widowmaker nodded, watching her approach the door to the server room.

“Why do you guys have to be so negative? Maybe we're just getting lucky. Ever think about that?” She walked inside, moving slowly inside, head swivelling around the room.

“I didn't say anything.”

“I know you agree with him. You two are such pessimists.” She heard Reaper grunt next to her, and watched Sombra approach one of the stacks, inserting a drive into it. “Should have what we need within a few minutes, and then we're gone. An easy night.”

“Wouldn't bet on it.” Widowmaker lifted her gaze from the scope, turning to where Reaper was pointing. Two choppers were closing in on the building, brimming with soldiers. “Got guards inbound. Gonna come in through the roof.”

“How many?” She went back to the scope, scanning the building and the street below. Wouldn't do to miss another part of this trap.

“Not enough.” She heard Reaper chuckle, and she couldn't stop the grin from coming to her own face. She was finally going to have a bit of fun.

“We've got you covered, Sombra. Just get the data and get back to the roof. I'll tell you if anyone else shows up.”

“Whatever you say, Widow.” Satisfied that no one was coming from below, Widowmaker turned her attention to the choppers, watching the guards disembark.

“We're going to have to deal with those. We won't be able to outrun them.” She was sure that Helix wouldn't be allowed to use the weapons on them in a civilian area, but they had them for a reason.

“I'll get the left, you get the right.” She turned to Reaper, watching him shift into a cloud of smoke and fly across to his target. Sighing, she turned back to hers, lining up a shot on the pilot. She exhaled, holding her aim steady, waiting for the signal. Just as the final man stepped onto the roof, she heard Reaper's guns roar, and took the shot. The man jerked sideways, blood splattered over the window next to his head. She heard shouting from the roof, and turned to see a shadow standing in front of the destroyed cockpit of the other chopper, turning towards men still trying to understand what was happening.

The world seemed slow as she took aim at the first man to react, blowing a hole through his chest before his weapon was fully raised. After that, things moved quicker. Reaper flowed through the crowd, throwing guards to the ground and ripping them apart with his shotguns, seemingly ignoring the shots blasting through his body. She cleaned up what he left behind, taking pride in her ability to drop each man with a single shot. The two of them worked well together, and it wasn't long before there was silence on the roof. She watched Reaper turn to her with a nod, tendrils of smoke drifting out to the corpses on the roof, taking what he needed to recover from the damage he'd taken.

“Sounds like you two solved that problem. I got a clear path now?” Widowmaker turned her gaze back to the building, scanning for Sombra. She found her dashing back towards the stairs, moving more recklessly than before. She could also see that the rest of the guards in the building were charging towards the stairs, roused by the firefight..

“Multiple guards heading up the stairwell. You should get here ahead of them, but only just.” She heard a laugh as she shot into the stairwell, throwing something straight up before disappearing from view.

“So, how far ahead am I now?” Widowmaker sighed, scanning up to watch Sombra clamber over a railing and jog onto the roof. She nodded to Reaper as she walked toward the edge, before turning to her and winking. “You're taking this very seriously, Widow.”

“There are six men running up those stairs. Unless you want to be shot in the back, I suggest you start taking this seriously as well.” Reaper walked towards the edge, smoke pouring over the gap.

“Time to leave, Sombra. We've got what we came for.” Sombra turned back at the bodies left behind them before shrugging, grabbing another translocaator and launching it over the gap. Suddenly, Widowmaker found herself staring up at her, raising an eyebrow at the grin on her face.

“Let's talk when we're back at the safehouse. I got something to show you.” Her voice was low, and she walked away as Reaper materialised next to them, leaving her to sigh softly to herself.

“Is she bothering you again?” There was almost a hint of concern in his voice, and she laughed, short and sharp, standing up and grabbing her rifle. She watched men running over to the dead, checking them for sings of life and calling for help, knowing that there was nothing to be done for any of them now.

“No more than usual.” She saw Reaper staring at her, and started moving after Sombra, eager to be out of there before anyone else arrived. She had no desire for another chase across the rooftops.


	3. Chapter 3

The three of them listened to the local radio for a while once they'd gotten to the safehouse, waiting to hear news of the attack. Finally, after a couple of hours, reports started rolling in. Reaper headed off to bed after hearing the number of casualties, seemingly satisfied that it matched up with the number they'd killed. Once his door was shut, Widowmaker felt Sombra's arms drape over her shoulders, looking up to see a massive grin spread across her face.

“Yes?” Sombra grabbed her shoulders and pulled her out of her chair, an impressive feat considering the size difference. Widowmaker looked down at her with a frown as she was dragged to the other room in the apartment. She waited for an explanation as Sombra grabbed clothing and threw it onto the bed. “Are you going to let me in on your plan at some point?”

“Well, I was thinking it might be a nice surprise, but you've twisted my arm.” She moved up to her, shoving a pile of warm clothing into her hand and smiling warmly. “We're close to where they buried Gérard, and I was thinking now would be as good a time as any to visit.” Widowmaker stopped still, staring at Sombra, seeing a frown cross her face. “Hey. You OK? We don't have to do this, yeah? Just thought it might be nice.”

“I...” She trailed off, her gaze drifting round the room as she tried to concentrate. She'd asked her to do this for her. She just hadn't expected her to find it so quickly, and now she wasn't sure what she should do. What she should say to him. Feeling Sombra's hand on her arm, she turned back to her, smiling softly. “Thank you. I'm fine. Just a bit surprised.”

“Yeah. Probably shouldn't have sprung it on you like that, huh?” She sighed as she fell back on the bed, fiddling with the covers, looking surprisingly nervous. “I just wanted to do something nice. Didn't think about the fact that this a pretty big thing for you.” Widowmaker felt a warmth build in her chest at the sight, one that was slowly becoming more familiar the more time she spent with Sombra. Setting the clothing on the bed, she slowly reached down to grab her hand, holding it carefully.

“I mean it. Thank you.” She thought she saw some colour rise to Sombra's face as their eyes met, and she gave her another small smile. “I'd like to go visit him. I'd like you to come with me.” Widowmaker watched a grin spread over her face as she stood up, letting go of her hand and going through the pile of clothes next to her.

“Excellent, excellent. We'll need to get changed first though. Can't have you walking through this town as conspicuous as that.” She arched an eyebrow, coughing quietly as her eyes drifted over the black leather overcoat she was still wearing, and the glowing purple lights scatted over her body. “I'm gonna be less conspicuous too, just to be clear. So, you know, put your eyebrow down and start getting dressed for the occasion.” Widowmaker turned to the pile, grabbing out different clothes and finally changing into a pair of jeans and a shirt. She heard a whistle from behind her, and Sombra walked up to her, wrapped up in a leather jacket without lights and handing a long, woolen coat to her.

“This is a bit much for me, I think.” Sombra and Reaper had both been complaining about the cold, but she hadn't felt it. Whether that was a quirk of her new physiology or the way she'd always been was beyond her knowledge. What wasn't was the fact that Sombra was very insistently shoving it into her hands.

“I know you don't really notice the weather, but a purple woman wandering through Paris in winter with just a shirt is gonna attract attention, yeah? So put it on. This too.” Widowmaker was about to argue as a scarf was wrapped round her neck, before sighing and pulling on the coat. “There we go. The two of us could almost be normal.”

“How wonderful. Just two regular people walking through Paris in the middle of the night to see a murdered man's grave.”

“Exactly. Now come on. Don't want to leave this too late.”

~

It took the two of them an hour to get to the cemetery. It was long closed by the time they arrived, but Sombra got a door open easily enough, smiling as the cameras tipped towards the ground.

“Probably best not to have a record of our visit. Got enough people on the hunt already, don't we?” Widowmaker smiled at her, stepping in behind her and following down the path. “You remember this place? You've got family here, too. Thought it might trigger a memory or something.” She looked at the graves around her, hoping for something to catch, but this place was new to her.

“It doesn't mean anything to me. Maybe that will change, but for now...” She went silent for a moment, eyes continuing to flick from headstone to headstone. “That part of Amélie might just be gone.”

“Why do you speak about her like she's a separate person?” Sombra didn't stop moving, but slowed down enough so that they were side by side, their arms brushing against each other. “I'm not trying to be rude. Just wanna know, if you wanna tell me.”

“It's hard to explain.” Widowmaker stared down at the ground, trying to put her words in order, feeling Sombra's quiet presence at her side. She looked down at her, meeting her gaze, wondering why she was so interested in her. “There's a line. On one side is Widowmaker. Me. On the other, fragments. Something that was a person once. Amélie.” She felt fingers brush against hers, and looked down to see Sombra's hand slipping slowly into her, squeezing it tight, sending a small, pleasant warmth up her arm. “I'm never going to be her. Not without giving up who I am. She's still part of me, though. At least, the parts of her that still exist are.”

“You're not her, but she's you. I get that.” Widowmaker's eyes rose to Sombra's face, seeing her violet eyes gleam as a soft smile grew on it. “It's not the same for me, not even close, but I get it. I'm not the person I used to be, either, but they're still me. Just a smaller part of a larger whole.” She couldn't stop herself from smiling down at her, feeling fresh warmth growing in her chest as she saw the colour rising to Sombra's cheeks. “We're nearly here. Gérard's family bought the plot for him. Wanted him to be close to home.” The rounded a final corner, and came to a stop in front of a simple headstone.

There was nothing ostentatious about it. Nothing to make it stand out. Just a plain marble marker, obviously well cared for, with his name carved into it, along with a logo.

“Overwatch.” She'd seen it come up a few times recently. The group had been disbanded years ago, but they'd seemingly sprung up again. They were causing Talon no end of problems, it seemed, though she'd yet to actually be called upon to deal with them. “Why is that on his grave?”

“He used to be part of it, back when it was a big organisation. Apparently, he'd been causing a lot of problems for Talon. A thorn in their side.” She lifted a hand, brushing it over his name, closing her eyes and picturing his face. It was harder when she was awake, but he was there. “They took you to get at him. Thought it might break him enough to stop him. When that didn't work...” Sombra trailed off, and Widowmaker smiled sadly, standing up from the headstone.

“They had me kill him.”

“No one else could get close. Had to be someone he trusted. Had to be you.” She felt a hand on her shoulder, and lifted her own to rest on it, grateful for the company. “You have to live in this city to be buried here, or you have to die in it. Either way, from what you've said, your old home is probably near here. I could look it up for you too, if you want. Pay it a visit.”

“No.” Widowmaker looked at the grave again, wondering how long Gérard had been buried there. She couldn't remember when she'd killed him. Couldn't remember much from that night. “The house isn't mine. There's nothing there for me. This was enough.” She stood still for a moment longer, trying to commit the location to memory, should she ever need to come back alone. “I'm glad that it's being cared for. That someone still thinks about him.”

“His parents. They come here every week.” There was silence for a moment, and Widowmaker felt the hand on her shoulder lift. “D'you wanna have a moment to yourself? I can give you some space if you need it.” She shook her head, turning to face Sombra, smiling at the look of worry on her face.

“It's time to go. Perhaps I'll come back another day. Make sure he's still being looked after.” Widowmaker watched her nod and turn, following close behind as she lead them out of the park. “I wouldn't mind having your company again if I did. You made this much more pleasant than it could otherwise have been.” Sombra turned to her and wink, giving her a quick salute.

“Of course. I'll always have time for you.” Widomaker watched her turn back round, arms clasped behind her head as she whistled, surprised at just how happy she was feeling.

She wondered how long it could last.

~

Her last few meetings with Gérard had been silent, sitting in each other's company, waiting for the end. It had been a fixture of their time together for as long as she could remember, and in a way, it was comforting.. They didn't have anything to speak about anyway. She hadn't been on any missions since Paris, spending her time training and sneaking in the occasional meeting with Sombra. They couldn't spend too much time together, not without arousing suspicion, but it had been enough to spend the occasional hour in each other's company. Widowmaker enjoyed sitting with her, listening to her gossip about the rest of the people on the base, or brag about beating Reaper in whatever game the two of them had played that day. It was calming.

“I'm scared for you.” Widowmaker looked up at him as she heard the words, the first he'd spoken that day. He was staring down at the hands in his lap, fiddling with them as blood poured down his chest. “She's going to hurt you.”

“She's good to me.”

“Because she can use you. You can't trust her. She's a liar.”

“She's always been honest with me.” Sombra had told her what they'd done to her. She'd shown her what she looked like, what Gérard had looked like. Where he was buried. She didn't have to do any of it, but she had. “She won't betray me. Not after all this.”

“You're wrong.” He was looking up at her, staring into her eyes, letting her see the despair in his. “She'll leave. She's going to get what she needs from Talon, and then she'll be gone. You'll lose whatever it is you think you have, and your life will be worse than it was before.”

“So what? I can't let myself be happy because I might lose it?” She felt anger welling up inside, burning in her chest. Gérard had never been like this before. Why start now?

“We don't get to be happy. Talon took that away from us.” He closed his eyes, falling back against the bed and groaning. “You won't be able to take it. You can get used to misery, as long as it's constant. It blends together. I don't think you'll be able to take going back to it. Not if you let yourself have something more.” His voice grew quieter as he slipped down the bed, breathing becoming shallow.

“Why do you think I could take it if it ended now?” He raised an eyebrow, before laughing weakly, blood sputtering from his lips.

“You love her.”

“You and Sombra are the only good things I have.” She watched his gaze lift to hers again, tears forming in his eyes. “You can't expect me to abandon her.”

“It'll hurt, but you can still do it. You'll pull through.”

“No.” She stood from the chair, eyes closed, balling her fists tight. “There has to be another way.” She couldn't leave on her own. She didn't have anywhere to go, and Talon would find her. The best thing that could happen at that point would be them killing her. She needed help. She needed Sombra. She opened her eyes, and saw Gérard laying still on the bed, sighing as the world started to fade. “We deserve more than this.”


	4. Chapter 4

“You seem distracted.” Widowmaker looked up from her scope, wondering how long Reaper had been watching her. “Your aim's off.”

“I haven't missed a target in years.” She'd been at the range all morning, setting the targets to run every pattern they could. Hitting a moving target was nothing like hitting a moving person, but it was the best way for her to keep sharp during the downtime. It was calming, too, in a way. Something to concentrate on while the world slipped away.

“You're slower than normal. Winging them instead of hitting the center.” He walked over to her side, squatting down and staring at the targets ahead of them.

“You seem to be paying a lot of attention to me.”

“You're part of the team. It's my job.” She sighed, pushing herself up on to her knees, unloading the rifle and setting it to the side.

“So, you pay this much attention to everyone, then?” He chuckled, puffs of black smoke rising from his body.

“I try. It's harder with some of you, though. Sombra for example. She's always disappearing. Off where no one can find her.” He turned to face her, mask blocking whatever expression he was making. “You should be careful around her.”

“Oh? You think she's a traitor?”

“No. Just a mercenary. No real loyalty. Talon's suspicious of her. They'll become suspicious of you too.” She stared at him, trying to meet the place his eyes would have been, if he even had them.

“They're suspicious of everyone, and with good reason. We're all killers here.” She watched his body lose definition for a moment. More smoke started to rise before moving back, his form solidifying again.

“I want you to be safe. I like the kid, but she's trouble. You don't want to get dragged in to that.”

“I'll keep that in mind.” Reaper knew something of what had been done to her. He was trying to warn her without telling her. She stood up, heading for the door before stopping and turning back to him. “Would you help me? If I got into trouble?” There was a silence between them, and she saw his body start to blur again, pooling on the floor round him.

“I'd do what I could. I'd try.” She watched him for a moment longer, and nodded solemnly before leaving. She hadn't expected anything more of him. She knew he'd do his best, and they both knew he'd fail. She'd seen flashes of it recently. His voice raised as she was strapped to a table, arguing desperately as a needle was pushed into her arm. She wondered if he ever thought about that when he looked at her. She certainly did.

Sombra was waiting next to her door, grinning as Widowmaker walked towards her.

“You seen the old man today? Never turned up for chess. Worried he might have finally got tired of losing.”

“He was at the range. Watching me shoot. Chatting.” Sombra slapped her forehead, letting loose an exaggerated sigh.

“Of course. What else would the two most talkative people in this place be doing?” She raised an eyebrow at her, coughing quietly into her hand.

“Did you forget that I'm standing right next to you?”

“Now how could I forget something like that?” Sombra winked up at her, slipping an arm through hers and quickly jabbing her nails into her side, letting her know they were going for a private meeting. “You've got to fill me in on the gossip. Reaper never tells me anything. Says I'm annoying.” Widowmaker stopped herself from smiling as Sombra leaned into her, reminding herself to try and look irritated till they got to a safe spot. It was a hard task with the warmth starting to spread through her, but she was a practised liar by now. She didn't have a choice in the matter.

~

“So, he thinks the bosses are coming for me, then?” Widowmaker nodded, watching her pace back and forth across the tiny room. They were further out of the way than normal, and she wondered if there was a reason for that. Sombra had certainly seemed eager to talk. “He knows less than he thinks he knows. They're looking at me, sure, but I've still got plenty of time.”

“Time for what?” She had talked about her plans before, but never in so much detail.

“Talon are connected to, well, almost everything. Like, not always directly, but shit leads back to them. Vishkar, Helix, Lumérico. Hell, even the UN. Every major company and government in the world has ties with these guys somehow, either working with them or fighting against them or just through other groups.” Widowmaker watched her continue to pace, tapping her forefinger against her thumb as she screwed her eyes tight. “They're small, and this shouldn't be how it is. They should be on the edge of the web, and I'm so close to finding out why they're in the middle. I just need more time, and I'll be able to see the whole picture.”

“So how do I fit in?” Sombra stopped.

“You...” Widowmaker watched her stand still, struggling to find her words. It was a rare sight. “You were interesting, at first. I figured if I could find out what they did to you, it might lead to finding other connections.” She closed her eyes at the words, feeling a dull ache start to well up inside. It was what she'd expected. It shouldn't have hurt.

“Well? Was I useful?” She couldn't keep the spite from her voice. Couldn't stop the pain from seeping into her words.

“That's not why I'm here with you. At first, maybe, but now...” Widowmaker looked up at her, seeing her screw her face up. Her hand fingers tapped over her leg, foot bouncing on the floor. “You don't deserve what happened to you. You're a good person. You shouldn't be here.”

“What does that have to do with any of this?” Sombra's hand went to her head, brushing back through her hair as she groaned, frustration showing on her face.

“I wanna help you. It's why I've been telling you what I found. Why I've been hunting down photos and info and the things you ask for. You aren't just some killer, some weapon to be used. That there's more to you than what Talon made.” She stopped again, sighing and squatting down on the floor. “I like being around you. You're quiet and thoughtful, and you smile when you're not being watched. It feels… I like seeing that. I like it when you're happy.” Widowmaker stared at her, marvelling at how small she suddenly seemed. Like she'd shrunk into herself the moment she became vulnerable.

“What were you going to do when you found what you needed? When you left?” Sombra lifted her head, smiling softly at her.

“I was going to take you with me. Save the girl from the clutches of evil. Be the hero.” Widowmaker laughed softly, seeing Sombra dip her head between her knees. “You can't stay here. You should have more than this.” She watched her fingers dancing over her knees, feeling happy in a way she hadn't for years.

“What if they come for me before you're ready to go? What if they need to reprogram me again?” Sombra's movements stopped, and she stood up, a frown wrinkling her brow.

“I'm keeping an eye on that. Making sure I know what their plans are. I won't let it happen. Can't lose you this late in the game.”

“And if you haven't got the information you need?”

“Then I won't have it.” Sombra smiled down at her, and she felt warmth start to build in her chest. “I can find other ways to find out what I need to about Talon. I can't get you back. So, yeah. Easy choice.”

“Thank you.” Widowmaker smiled, rising from her seat. “How can I help you get what you need?”

“I mean, there's not really much you can do just now. They watch you as much as me, so I guess just act normal? Or, you know, how they want you to?” She nodded, eyes following Sombra as she started to pace again. “Are you still up for fighting once we're gone? I'll understand if you're not. Do what I can to help. If you are, though...” Widowmaker grinned, meeting her gaze.

“Are you going to take Talon down?” There was a glint in Sombra's eyes, and Widowmaker licked her lips as she watched her start to pace, excitement rising in her. She'd dreamed about taking down Talon for as long as she'd know what they'd done to her. She just never had any hope that it could be anything more than that.

“Not just Talon. They'll be a good start, but they aren't doing this alone. We can't stop at them.” She stopped mid pace, looking back at her with a grin. “That's all long term, though. A lot to do before then. But I'd like it if I could have you at my back for it.”

“I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be.” She watched the smile grow on Sombra's face till she was positively beaming, warmth prickling under her skin. “We should probably leave soon. People will wonder where we got to.”

“Good idea. No need to arouse any more suspicion than necessary.” Widowmaker turned to leave when she felt a hand gripping hers. “I won't let anything happen to you. Getting you out of here comes first. The rest can wait.” She looked back at her, smiling softly and squeezing her hand.

“I'll look after you as well. That's what partners do, after all.” Sombra looked down, grinning and rubbing the back of her head.

“Yeah. Partners. Sounds good.” They stood in silence for a moment, still holding each other. Finally, Sombra let go, walking past her towards the door. “I'm gonna go find Reaper. See if he's up for losing at chess. We'll plan this out more later, yeah?” Widowmaker nodded, watching her leave and trying to keep a neutral expression as she followed. It was hard. Harder than she could remember it being. All of her emotions had been numbed, dampened to the point of non-existence. It was how they wanted her. Cold, unfeeling. A tool to be used. The conditioning was starting to break, like it always did, and she knew that on any other time they'd treat her again, numb her again. Not this time. She was starting to feel again, and they couldn't stop it. She had hope, and it was all thanks to Sombra.

~

Widowmaker was at the bottom of her stairs again, wearing nothing but her robe. Light was pouring through the windows, and she took a deep breath before starting her journey up the stairs. Her visits with Gérard had been tiring lately. She was still grateful to see him, but things had been less comfortable than normal. He didn't like Sombra. Didn't trust her. She couldn't blame him for it, but it was still unpleasant to hear him only break the silence to talk about the ways she'd inevitably betray her.

She paused at the door to their room, glancing around the landing. Something felt off, though it was hard to say what. She looked for some clue as to what had changed, but she couldn't see anything that stuck out. It was hard to say if that was because everything was the same, or if she simply couldn't keep track of what her former home was like. It could have been different with every visit and she probably wouldn't have known. Sighing and giving up on her search, she opened the door and stepped inside, stopping dead.

Gérard wasn't in their bed. Instead, a figure curled under her, turned away from her. Long, black hair was draped across the pillow behind her, violet curls at the end standing out against the dark bedding. Widowmaker stepped closer, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. She looked over Sombra's body, watching her legs kick gently under the covers, and froze when she yawned and rolled over. She looked up at her with a grin, patting the bed next to her.

“It's far too early for us to be awake. Come back to bed. Relax.” Widowmaker stared down at her, utterly confused. This didn't make any sense. Sombra pushed herself onto her elbow, winking up at her as the duvet fell away from her chest. “What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?” Her gaze flickered over her bare breasts, feeling a gentle warmth build in her face as Sombra chuckled.

“No. I just...” Widowmaker's eyes darted round the room, an unfamiliar nervousness building up inside her. Finally, they settled on Sombra's, unable to draw herself away from her piercing gaze. “Why are you here?” She sighed, slumping back on to the bed and raising an eyebrow.

“Where else would I be? I told you, I'm with you till the end. Remember?” Sombra smiled up at her, and she looked down at the bed, heat pooling in her chest. She saw the covers lift of the bed, and kneeled on the edge of it, letting her robe fall to the ground. “Hurry up. Gonna catch a cold if you don't get under here with me.” She nodded, slipping under the duvet, letting Sombra move closer and embrace her.

“I'm sorry if I'm cold.” Widowmaker watched her smile, feeling her skin burn where they touched.

“It's fine. I'm happy to warm you up.” She smiled slightly, burying her face into Sombra's shoulder. She smelled good. She finally mover her hands to touch her as well, moving them up her back, feeling the ridges of various implants under her skin.

“This isn't real.” It hurt to say it out loud. She knew it was true, but part of desperately didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to lose this. Didn't want it to end. Sombra's pulled her in closer, and she felt a gentle kiss land on her cheek.

“No. It's not. It will be though.” Widowmaker closer her eyes, feeling a tear roll down her cheek as Sombra stroked her back. “I'll get you out of here. I'll keep you safe. I just hope this can be enough till then.” She felt sharp nails tracing the tattoo on her back, and she smiled. The nagging voices in her head were still telling her not to fall for it, not to let her guard down, but she pushed them out. The end of this dream would hurt, but it was better than nothing.

“I do too.” She whispered the words to Sombra, closing her eyes and nuzzling further into her neck, hugging her tight. “I love you.” This wasn't real, but one day it would be. For the first time, her happiness was in front of her, not confined to memories of a life she couldn't return to. She'd find out more about Gérard, about what he had meant to Amélie. What he meant to her. She'd do all that, and she'd move on. She'd be happy. She'd have Sombra.

She'd get what she deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've all enjoyed this. It's kind of a preamble to a bigger thing I'm writing at the moment, so this is gonna continue on with the next thing I write. Kinda just wanted to get ideas down on how I was gonna do that story and it ended up turning into it's own little thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me at theflyingpeanutwritesthings.tumblr.com for gay stuff and ramblings on nothing.


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